I already posted this review on TripAdvisor but I was afraid that people might not get the message or be swayed by all the positive reviews – what are these people’s point of reference? Anyway here it is.
Oh boy – I hate being a sucker for misleading – dare I say false – advertising. All the glowing reviews on TripAdvisor also bother me. Did I go to the wrong place? I suppose for $300 a night i was expecting a little more.
Let’s look at their web site. They say “Retire to your expansive bungalow all with private patio/gardens, Italian linens, Aveda toiletries, and in suite European gourmet breakfast.”
1. Bungalows are low single story buildings. All I saw were two story, town home, efficiency like buildings. Ours (called Vita) was what you might be able to afford in your first year out of college. It looked like it was built in the 70′s. Nothing special architecturally, yes quite large. Lame shabby-chic style furnishings (think Salvation Army), cheap lights, painted kitchen cabinets with bare fluorescent tube under cabinet lighting etc. I must say the bathroom was well done with Kohler jacuzzi-type tub, sink, toilet etc – but strangely devoid of any towel racks! But then I neither sleep, eat or lounge in the bathroom.
2. Yes we had a patio and quite nice it was too. Sadly it was too hot to sit outside.
3. Italian linens! Don’t make me laugh! At least one of our pillow cases was poly-cotton and the others were of dubious origin. The bedspread was silk and fairly nice but it wasn’t Italian. I have Restoration Hardware Italian sheets on my bed right now – and they sure feel a whole heck of a lot different.
4. Yes there were Aveda toiletries from their hotel & guest house range. Small little bottles – not worth the $300 per.
5. I must have slept thru the “in suite European gourmet breakfast”! What a joke! How do they have the gall to write stuff like this. Here’s what you get. The breakfast fairy comes round in the morning and hangs a metal bucket thing outside your door. In that are two pastries in a plastic bag. On one of our three days they included jam and we danced around our private garden so happy we were! In the fridge is a Mason jar of pretty good granola and a small milk crate with two bottles of OJ (from concentrate), a small bottle of milk, a small bottle of half & half, two small bottles of water and another Mason jar with (oddly) two coffee filters already filled with coffee for the (included) Mr Coffee. But that’s not all! On the dining table was a fruit bowl which had one banana, two small citrus fruits which I think were oranges but were kind of leathery so I passed, a peach that had a big bruise on it that managed to sit there for two days before being removed and a small bunch of grapes. How European! How gourmet! How pathetic!
Remember you are paying $300 a night for this.
Here’s a good one from their web site “A haven of sensory delight awaits the discriminating connoisseur.” I tell you what awaits you – a tiny window AC unit that is supposed to cool the whole two stories, curtains that are so sheer you cannot sleep in the morning or show everything to passers by, a LCD TV smaller than a laptop screen that is in such a bizarre place it defies credulity and worst of all NO Wi-fi!
Having Wi-fi is a pre-requisite of us staying anywhere. My wife has a pretty important job and needs to get her email and check her voice-mail constantly. My needs are less important but if a web site says the place has wi-fi it better have wi-fi. When i discovered there was no connection I went outside and found the owner Tony. I told him we have no wi-fi. Conversation goes something like. “Yes the connection is sometimes bad – old houses you know” “So how do i get wifi?” “You can login to the wifi of the B&B across the street – we have an ‘arrangement’” “No I can’t login there – I want the wifi I am paying for” “You can use the wifi in the office” “I want it in my ‘bungalow’” “I can move you into another room” “That is not convenient for us” And so on.
Basically they don’t have wi-fi everywhere. He even had the cheek to bring his son with his laptop into our room and show how he could get wifi. Of course he couldn’t – but wait if he stood near a window he could get it – kind of. So that really peeved me. All his solutions were convenient for him. I kept waiting for him to say “I’m so sorry about this sir, why don’t I knock off $50 from your bill?” But he never did. Rule one of the hospitality game – do whatever it takes to make your guests happy. If you don’t they will let everyone know.
One final piece of truly comical advertising copy on their web site is this “Nano silver filtration air conditionering (sic).” Wow I thought – that’s pretty cool. Well what it turns out to be is a small Daewoo window unit (model DWC-058RL I believe) which is rated for cooling a room of 200 sq ft. I would put the Vita room at 900 sq ft. The filter has silver sprayed on it or something like that. Save your money go elsewhere.
